Everyone will face a difficult time in their life. One thing that can help when those times hit, is not keeping it all inside. There have been many times in my life that have been difficult.
I think I would have to say that the one moment that trumps the others is when my father passed. I was six years old. He had been sick for maybe about a year. Truly, how long, I do not remember, I was six. Time is very scewed at that age. I remember him being in the hospital and us traveling to my grandparents' house on the weekends so that we could go visit him. Pop-pop was a doctor, Nanny, a nurse. Pop-pop worked at Abington hospital so that is where Dad stayed. That meant that we could stay with Nanny and Pop-pop (save on hotel bills) and visit dad. I remember waking one morning while staying at Nanny and Pop-pop's, I saw mom and my sister sitting on the couch already. When I went over, my mom told me that Dad had passed in the night. Days were a blur. My entire first grade class sent me sympathy cards, I read them often. I remember wondering where the casket was during the memorial service. It rained at the cemetery. He was 39 and spent his last birthday in the hospital. I gave him wrist/ankle weights. His one niece was born three days before he passed. The date was 10/14/89.
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| Photo of Dad on a shirt my sister wore during a dance marathon |
What made my dad pass so young? Smoking. He started in his mid teens or so. Yes, he did start to cut back in the very later years, but the damage was done. He got lung cancer. It spread throughout his body. In the end, he needed to be tied into bed or he would wake, disoriented and try pulling out IVs and such. I was shielded from much of the bad stuff.
That was the hardest time in my life. MY biggest bump in life. It may have been 23 or so years ago, but it still hurts. Looking into the eyes of that picture brings tears. One point of solace? My son is the spitting image of my father. My father lives in him.
Until next time.... reminiscing....
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