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Feb 4, 2010

Who am I?

I have had this blog now for a couple months. Although blogspot has a small section for "About Me," it is like I said...small. As so many people out there, how can you sum up who you are in a small section? I can't. I always have trouble thinking of what to write in those boxes. I looked back through my posts and realized that I never really set out to say who I am. I wanted to take this time to do just that. This may get long, but something is just compelling me to write this.
It seems that I have been going through a bit of a metamorphosis lately; but I will get to that in a little bit.
My Background: I was born to two loving parents with one older sister. When I was very young (6) my father died of lung cancer. He was a smoker. After a couple years my mom remarried and we moved from more of a city setting to the country. In junior high I got in to color guard (flags) with the marching band. That took me all through junior and senior high. Many times I have said that pretty much the only reason for me going to school was for color guard. I am so glad that I was associated with band, as that is where I met my future husband in my junior year. D was a senior and we started dating in November of '99. I didn't know it at the time, but by Christmas D was already thinking of marriage and even approached his mom about wanting to buy a ring for me (she was quite upset and said no to helping him with that). We both graduated and went to Penn State a year apart from each other. About two years in to dating we took a family vacation with D's family (as we did many times) and it was on this trip to Canandaigua, NY that we were officially engaged. We used a ring that my father had given my mother and she had passed down to me. We both knew we wanted to wait until we graduated college before getting married. That meant at least 4 years of being engaged before marriage. I went on to get my degree in Secondary English Education.
My Faith: I was baptized as an infant at Wayne Presbyterian. We would go to church maybe once a year (Easter). Once we moved, we really didn't go to church much at all as we had moved over an hour from the church we had attended. I believed that God existed, but that was about it. I didn't care how I lived my life before I met D. I credit D with saving me. He brought me back to God before I graduated high school. My faith has been growing since. I started going to church with D and his family and I truly don't think that I could have been a new believer at a better church. The church was truly a family that sought to bring me in and build me up. I have met so many wonderful people through our church. I have now been at this church for over ten years. I could not be happier. As I have grown as a believer I have been able to work through depression and social anxiety and my church family has been there every step to help me in any way they could. I am now active in so many facets of our church and that has made me grow in my faith even more. I am proud to be a Christian woman!
My Family: D and I got married on our six year anniversary of when we started dating. November 4th 2005 was such a long awaited day for us. We were completely ready to become husband and wife. Nervousness was nowhere within either of us. We knew that we were soul mates that God brought together. After a year or so of being married we decided that the five years we thought we wanted to wait before having kids, was just not going to work for us and we began to try for our first child. I became pregnant a few months later and we couldn't have been happier. April 17, 2008, I became a mother to such a wonderful happy little boy. LJ was tiny, but so very happy. When I was about 7 months along, I stopped working and prepared to become the stay at home mom I am now.
I live for my family. I live for my God. I do my best to make sure that D and LJ are happy and that is what makes me happy in life. God shows us His will as He chooses and I walk the path He has laid out for me.
I used to pray and ask God for specific outcomes. Lately, I haven't been able to. All I can ask now is for His will to be done. It may not be what I (my worldly heart) may want, but it is His will and that is all I truly want in life. To have His will be done. I have found myself reflecting on all that is really in the Lord's Prayer. It holds all you will ever need. He provides. He will save. He will be all you ever need. As you read, try to reflect on all that these few words are really saying:
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen    

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